Bottle & Jar Cutter.

Shit I'd Never Buy (For The Holidays)!!!

Here's how it works.

Doughnut To-Go.

Until they make one to protect a Boston Cream, I won't even consider it.

Snazzy Napper!

If the passenger sitting next to me on a plane pulled this thing out and started to tie it around their head, I'd be very, very afraid.

iArm

The watch arm has been raided!

Finger Food Plates.

Charming.

Motorized Ice Cream Cone.

...in a fake plastic earth.

Banana Guard.

Shelter for fruit???

Reddi-Bacon.

Twisted fire starter.

Ice Skating Baby Carrier.

Parents look excited. Baby looks concerned.

Shower Face Shield.

Underwater bliss!

Cigarette Holder For Two.

This would never fly at Sterling Cooper.

iCarta Toilet Paper iPod Dock.

Is there no other place this can be done?

Toilet Mini Clock.

Who came up with this combo and WHY?

Collapsible Bike.

I imagine that this would be nowhere near as fun as it looks.

TV HAT.

We've. All. Gone. MAD.

I seriously had to click on the OrderNow form to see if this thing was legit (and it was). So, at this point, I'd like to say that If I could clear this entire blog and only keep it running with this one post, its purpose would be served.

Husband Hunting Bra.

The HURRRRRRRRRTS Lockerrrrrr. Don't think this brazier would pass customs.

Leopard Print Toilet Seat Cover.

FAIL. There are certain things you cannot SEX up.

Head To Toe Umbrella.

Maybe just wait inside next time? No?

"Lip liner"

Perfect for a date with Hannibal Lecter.

Flashlight Slippers.

Why can't we just let slippers be slippers?

Telephone Dumbell.

Keep fit and have fun!

E Desk.

Driving takes a back seat to food.

Thumb thing.

Thumb thing to make reading easier.

They look so uncomfortable Slippers.

Being tidy is so important.

Soup Face Shield.

It's a bib for your face.

Camera Stick Extension Thing.

Go Go Gadget Arms!

Baby Mop.

Are you just gonna lay there or are you gonna buff this floor?

Chest Hair Toupee.

Not sure why it's heart-shaped. I don't heart it at all.

Bacon Genie.

Bacon dreadlocks in minutes; without the hot smokey grease.

Clocky.

Get a load of this one. A plastic alarm clock that you have to chase down and locate in order to turn off. Exactly what I want to be doing at 7am to start my day off right.

Maze Door Lock.

I love games, but I just don't have that kind of time.

Boyfriend's Arm Pillow.

Ladies need cozy time too. Puppet arms are where it's at!

Girlfriend's Lap Pillow.

Crazy. Crazy for feeling so lonely.

Sock Shoe ‘Bahia’ Sandal.

HOW COME????

Ed Hardy Steering Wheel Cover.

Friends don't let friends.

Cajun Squirrel Potato Chips.

No votes from me.

Baby Snuggie.

K, I lied. This one's a maybe. Depends on the baby.

Baby Snuggie.

Jesus! Never.

BraSmart.

I'd never be able to choose my top 3.

AirPress Massager.

Still waiting on a wireless version.

Pregnant Barbie.

If only it were that simple.

Slipper Genies.

Way to multitask.

Fifa Thongs.

Keep that party in your pants.

Pink Bra Planter.

Panties not included.

Denim Skorts.

Or any skorts, for that matter.

EZCracker.

How about LAZYCracker? Are we that useless, people?